It's been a long time since I've woken up voluntarily before 9am. My new job, which I love, allows me to sleep most of the day - since I'm there most of the night. But this morning was different.
Typically, if I'm waking up early, it's due to anxiety. The horrible questions of whether or not I can actually be a successful adult? Am I making my parent's proud? Am I making a fool out of myself. Are there things that I should be doing that I'm not? Am I going to be able to pay rent next month?
This morning, I woke up, and Jesus said, "This morning is for me. So get yourself up out of bed and do what I tell you to do."
I took my time actually getting up. After all, I don't have to be at work for another six hours. But then he started to speak to me. He spoke to me about how much he loves me and how he is to be my song for the rest of my life. How I've been distracted and he's tired of it. At one point there was something like, "I know you love your boyfriend, and I mean, I'm the one who put him in your life. I know how he makes you feel. I know how great he is. But don't forget that I am your first love. I am the one who makes your heart sing. I wake you up with butterflies. I died for you. I give you hope. I give you life. Don't forget."
And then I remembered, and I was filled with unspeakable joy. It's been a while. And I can admit that. I can admit that my walk isn't perfect. That I trip, fall, stumble, try and pick myself back up, and then fall back down again. I can admit that I get caught up in everything that isn't the Lord and forget to focus on him more often than I should. I can admit that I forget my first love.
But he loves me anyway. This morning he reminded me that he knows that I'm made of flesh. He knows that sometimes I forget to notice his wooing and instead I focus on everything else. Even as I write this, Satan keeps trying to grab my attention with half a dozen other things. BUT GOD, in all of this glory and in all of his love, continues to woo me. He continues to get my attention. He wakes me up in the morning and won't let me go back to sleep.
For that I am so so grateful. I am so so glad that I serve a God that can't get enough of me. I am so glad to serve a God that is deeply in love with me. I serve a good that is entranced by my beauty. And it's all because of him. He knows that he made me the way that I am and he loves me exactly where I'm at.
It's been a while since I've written, but I hope this is an encouragement to all of you out there who need it today. There is someone who loves you. There is someone who wants you. There is someone that would and is moving heaven and earth to spend time with you. NOTICE HIM. He's worth the time.
Happy Thursday!
