From whiningly wallowing to worshipful willingness

You know what I hate?  I hate going to church.  No, really.  I hate it. 

Some of you might say: But you're an RA? Or How can you really call yourself a Christian?  Depending on which side of that spectrum you're on. Your questions remain, and I still hate church.  Well, hated it.

I hated that church was this place where people stop fighting in the parking lot, and lie about what they did last night. 

Church was a place where girls who are certainly not a good moral example lead middle school Sunday school -- I mean, we're talking they actively and openly have sex with their boyfriends and engage in underage drinking, and no one is willing to say anything because they need Sunday school teachers. 

Church is a place where people ignore severe emotional abuse and "minor" physical and sexual abuse because "he's such a good man.  He loves his kids!"

In chapel at my school, we started off this semester with Nic Gibson, and he basically called out every reason I hated church. 

Then he called me a coward.  That made me mad.  I'm not a coward, right?  According to him I am.

You see, I don't like airing my vulnerability, sin and imperfection -- oh, and I really don't like calling other people out on all of their. . . stuff.  And according to him, and Pastor Kelly who pointed out to us even more recently, the church is there to sanctify us. Oh, and we're there to sanctify it. 

My willingness to be vulnerable, air sin and imperfections, and my willingness to meet others in those places is actually part of this sanctification process that I thought I was already a part of.  But choosing to not take part in the local church actually hinders this process I need so badly. 

I'm learning something.  Christianity isn't about morality; it's about character. 

The overwhelming love that I accept in Christ should naturally outpour into every relationship, conversation and action that happens.  This should naturally cause us to overwhelmingly love other people. This includes actively being involved in the church.  Not because church is holy, but because I become more holy when I participate in the sanctification process of others.

If, like Christopher Yuan said, the opposite of every sin is holiness, then, in my desire to become more holy, I should be willing to allow some refining to happen.  This involves going to church, and sometimes it's going to be painful.

 

The pain must be worth it though, or so I've been told.  An unashamed, passionate relationship with Jesus Christ is worth the scare of vulnerability with other people.  And wouldn't it be great if Jesus used my own vulnerability, and even *gasp* my sin, to bring others closer to him?

So for all of you out there who are something like me and hate church, allow me to encourage and challenge you.  The church needs us -- the cynical and the hurt. The church needs us like we need it, and we all desperately need Jesus.  If we all need Jesus anyway, can it really be that bad to come together and need him?