Two sides to every coin

"In the U.S., almost one in 10 adults - young and old, men and women - has depression right now."*

Wake-up.  Ask self, "Is it really worth it?"  Deciding a decisive "no," goes back to bed.

Wakes-up again.  Thinks, "I should probably get up."  Starting the day with a sigh.

Reads Bible, prays, gives thanks to the Lord for all he has done. Praise him for his mercies every single morning.  Praise God from whom all blessings flow.  Thank him from the heart - give him the victory that is the day.  Remembering to pause.

Why does this day seem so dreary?  "Part of it must be the weather," she thinks.

"Jesus has saved me. Jesus loves me.  I am loved and cherished.  I am cared for.  I have a roof over my head.  I have food, water, and soap.  I am immensely blessed."

"I feel alone.  I feel unheard, unseen, unnoticed.  I just want some one to notice.  I just want someone to care."

A new voice is heard.  Calm, cool, like a trickling brook on a hot summer day, like the sound of waves on the beach, "If you hear my voice, do not harden your heart against me.  I, and I alone, speak only the truth.  Do not listen to the other voice."

"You are alone.  Nobody cares.  No one has seen your struggle.  They have left you a lone.  They don't notice your absence.  Your presence, your absence - neither are felt." 

"I have knit you together.  I know you from the inside out.  I see you in your hidden places.  I have loved you before your parents even knew you were coming.  I have made plans for you.  You are important to me."

"You aren't important to anyone.  You are not talented.  You are fat.  You are ugly.  You are not smart.  No one will every truly love you."  

"I created you the way you are.  I know your struggle.  I see you. I know - yada - you. I gave my son for you.  I loved you more than life itself.  I have allowed you to show my glory.  You were created in MY image.  You are MINE." 

"He leaves you alone.  He wants you to struggle alone."

"You are never alone, because I am always with you.  You do not depend on others.  You depend on me.  I define you.  I am the center of your identity.  Not your brokenness.  I allow you to be broken, because only when you are broken, only when you are weak, do you actually let me shine through.  Let me break you.  Let me be with you there. Don't try to battle this by yourself."

"But I feel alone.  I don't feel like I'm worth anything.  The other voice.  It's right about so many things.  What if he's right.  What if I'm not missed?"

"Daughter, you must trust me.  It's not about you.  It's about me.  Am I missed when you aren't there?  Besides, daughters of mine are very rarely not missed."

"I feel defeated."

"I know."

"I feel alone."

"I know."

"Are you going to fix me?"

"One day.  Can you wait for me to do it in my own way?"

"Only if you help me."

"I will never leave you nor forsake you."

"Father?"

"Yes, daughter?"

"The other voice stopped."

"Yes,  I told him to leave you be for now.  He will come back though." 

"I don't want to listen to him. Don't let him come back."

"You must let me refine you, dear.  Only listen to my voice.  Do not harden your heart to my voice."  

"I'm tired."

"I know."

"Give me rest."

"Of course.  True rest is only found in me, my beautiful daughter."  

"They're going to think I'm crazy."

"If they don't recognize their own brokenness, they've got another thing coming for them anyway.  You only have to care about what I think of you."  

"Okay.  Rest?"

"Rest."

Joshua 1:9 "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."

*Webmd.com